Effective November 12, 2026. Please read this page alongside our other site policies.
Welcome to the Paper
Welcome to The Tea Bag Times™ (the “Site”). By accessing or using this Site, you agree to these Terms of Use. If you disagree, please do not use the Site. These terms apply to the website and its published content; separate terms may apply to future products or services.
Satire, Not Straight News
The Tea Bag Times™ publishes humor, parody, satire, and commentary. Stories may feature fictional events, invented quotes, composites, exaggeration, and references to real people or places. Except where expressly identified as factual reporting, content is not intended as a factual account or professional advice. Please do not rely on satire to make medical, legal, financial, safety, or other important decisions.
Editorial Independence and No Endorsement
References to public figures, companies, products, or institutions do not imply their participation, approval, sponsorship, or endorsement. Views attributed to fictional characters or imagined situations are not statements by real people.
Ownership and Permitted Use
Unless otherwise indicated, original Site writing, design, branding, and other original material are owned by or licensed to the Site operator and protected under applicable intellectual-property law. You may read and share links to our articles for personal, noncommercial purposes. Brief quotations for lawful commentary or criticism may be permitted by law; these Terms do not limit your fair-use rights. Do not republish full articles, impersonate the publication, scrape the Site at scale, or exploit original materials commercially without permission.
Acceptable Conduct
Do not attempt unauthorized access, interfere with Site security, distribute malware, use the Site unlawfully, or submit threatening, defamatory, infringing, or otherwise unlawful material. We may moderate or remove submissions and restrict access where reasonably necessary.
Links and Third Parties
The Site may link to outside websites, social platforms, subscription services, or advertisements. Those third parties operate under their own terms and privacy practices. We do not control their content or guarantee their availability or accuracy.
Availability and Changes
We may edit, remove, correct, or discontinue Site content or features without advance notice. We may update these Terms; the version posted here will govern use after its effective date, subject to applicable law.
Disclaimers
To the extent permitted by applicable law, the Site and its content are provided “as is” and “as available,” without warranties of uninterrupted availability, error-free operation, or fitness for a particular purpose. Nothing in these Terms excludes warranties or rights that cannot lawfully be excluded.
Limits of Liability
To the extent permitted by applicable law, the Site operator and its contributors are not liable for indirect, incidental, special, consequential, or punitive damages arising from use of the Site. Any limitation is subject to applicable consumer-protection laws and does not apply where prohibited by law. Nothing here excuses intentional misconduct or other liability that cannot lawfully be limited.
Disputes and Governing Law
To the extent legally permitted, these Terms are governed by Florida law, without regard to conflict-of-laws rules. Any dispute will be handled in a court with lawful jurisdiction; these Terms do not override mandatory rights or venue protections. Before filing a claim, we welcome a good-faith attempt to resolve the issue through our Contact page.
Contact and Severability
Questions about these Terms can be sent through our Contact page. If a provision is unenforceable, the remaining provisions continue to apply to the extent allowed by law. These Terms do not create a partnership, agency, or employment relationship.
