By Laurel Finch | Culture | November 14, 2026
UNITED STATES — The Labrador Retriever has launched an entirely unofficial campaign to reclaim America’s favorite-dog crown, despite the inconvenient fact that no one asked it to run and it remains extraordinarily popular.
According to the American Kennel Club’s latest available registration rankings, based on 2025 registrations, the French Bulldog ranks No. 1 for the fourth consecutive year. The Labrador Retriever is No. 2, followed by the Golden Retriever, German Shepherd Dog and Dachshund.
These are facts. Everything the Labradors allegedly did next is considerably less official.
After a 31-year run at the top ended in 2022, Labs are said to be returning to their original strategy: being cheerful, carrying an object in their mouth and convincing an entire household that dinner happens whenever they say so.
A campaign built on enthusiasm and loose tennis balls
The French Bulldog has made a formidable case through compact size, expressive faces and a remarkable ability to look like a small executive disapproving of your choices.
Golden Retrievers have pursued the familiar platform of extreme friendliness. German Shepherds have offered discipline and an uncomfortably detailed assessment of the home’s security. Dachshunds, newly in fifth place, are apparently conducting their campaign six inches above the ground.
The Labrador’s pitch is simpler: If you throw it, we will retrieve it. If you don’t throw it, we will look disappointed until you reconsider.
Experts in the entirely imaginary Labrador campaign say its strongest asset is versatility. Labs can be family companions, working dogs, service dogs, sporting partners and professional supervisors of dropped food.
Their weakest point remains a susceptibility to mud, water, unattended sandwiches and the mistaken belief that every stranger has arrived specifically to see them.
America’s real top five
1. French Bulldog. 2. Labrador Retriever. 3. Golden Retriever. 4. German Shepherd Dog. 5. Dachshund. Those are the AKC’s actual 2025 rankings. They measure registrations, not a national referendum on which dog is best.
The rankings also exclude mixed breeds, so they cannot settle the larger and often emotionally charged question of whether the best dog in America is already sleeping on someone’s couch.
Until the next results arrive, Labradors have vowed to remain focused on the essentials: loyalty, exercise, snacks, water and the urgent investigation of whatever is happening in the kitchen.
Campaign headquarters declined comment after hearing the treat bag open.
Photo: Herwig Kavallar / Wikimedia Commons, public domain, archival photograph.
Background: The American Kennel Club’s 2025 registration rankings place French Bulldogs first and Labrador Retrievers second; the comeback campaign described here is a joke.
About the writer
Laurel Finch covers animals, wildlife and the people convinced their pets understand English for The Tea Bag Times™. Meet our newsroom.
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