By Laurel Finch | MIAMI-DADE COUNTY, Fla.
MIAMI-DADE COUNTY, Fla. — A coalition of local iguanas has reportedly demanded formal recognition as the county’s most dependable residents, citing perfect attendance at every canal, seawall, and backyard swimming pool since anyone can remember.
“We’re here every day, rain or shine,” said one particularly large iguana from atop a homeowner’s fence, before declining further comment and falling into the pool.
The group’s proposed platform includes expanded sunbathing hours, guaranteed access to waterfront real estate, and an immediate end to residents shouting “AY, DIOS MÍO” whenever one appears unexpectedly near the patio door.
Local homeowners responded with mixed feelings. Some praised the reptiles for their commitment to neighborhood visibility. Others questioned whether a six-foot lizard should be allowed to occupy the same lawn chair for three consecutive weekends.
The iguanas have also requested representation at county meetings, although officials expressed concern that the delegation might eat the landscaping before public comment begins.
At press time, negotiations had stalled after the lead representative spotted a hibiscus bush and wandered away.
Featured photograph: Bob Brewer / Unsplash (Unsplash License). Photographed in Mexico; illustrative image. Photo source.
About the writer
Laurel Finch covers wildlife & environment for The Tea Bag Times. Meet our newsroom.
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